December 23, 1972

Time sense is completely topsy-turvy - when I think five minutes have passed, it's an hour, and when I think an hour has passed, it's five minutes! It's completely, completely.... And I am puzzled, I am truly puzzled as to what causes it. Another standard of time. And it doesn't follow my conscious will: I'll start eating, thinking, "I want to be finished in twenty minutes" - and it takes me an hour! On another occasion, I don't think of time: I finish in twenty-five minutes. I don't understand.

From an outward point of view, I am starting to look crazy!

!!!

At night (I have long nights, but I don't sleep), I feel it's over in one minute! ... I go to bed saying to myself: ah, this will last a while - and it's over in five minutes, it seems to me.

Another time, I want to go fast, and it takes ... almost an hour. I don't understand.

Do you still have activities at night?

Yes, but they are not "dreams," you see. I mean ... it's not that kind of thing at all.

Sometimes I am identified with some people, and I thoroughly feel - I don't feel it's "another" person: I feel it's myself. And sometimes it's people I don't know. There are all kinds of things.

The consciousness is VERY vast. It isn't limited to one person or even a few persons: it is very vast.

(silence)

But I am perplexed by what's happening with clock time.... I thought it was not quite nine o'clock, and I was told it was already ten. I have no idea how that happened.

I start my breakfast telling myself: Ah, I'll eat fast, I am late - it takes me an hour!

But I don't say anything because people are so stupid they would say I am going crazy. That's not it ... I simply live in another consciousness.

It's probably necessary for your body to live in a kind of timelessness.

Oh, yes! I feel, I know - I know positively that my body is being accustomed to something else.

Because, certainly, the sense of time must bring wear and tear.

(silence)

So my one external resource - EXTERNALLY - iS to say the mantra: OM Namo Bhagavateh (it's an external part of myself that says it); but inside, I am like this (Mother opens her hands upward in total stillness). And now if I remain like that, hours may go by, and I won't know it.

What's the time?

Half past ten, Mother.

If you wake me ("wake me" is a way of speaking, of course!) at eleven, I'll give you an example!

Yes, Mother!

Would you like to?

Yes, of course, Mother. [329]

(Mother plunges in for forty minutes,
Satprem slightly touches her hand to call her back)

Did you feel something?

I feel very comfortable.

(Mother laughs and takes Satprem's hands)

Yes! The trouble is that everything else is rather unpleasant!

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