March 31, 1973

So, what would you like to tell me?

First, how are you?

I can't hear you. Are you asking how I am? ...

Yes-you "can't hear"!

But what does it mean? I can only be well when ... there's no I.

I have been asking myself a question.

Ah?

About that new consciousness. I can grasp (or guess) its contemplative or passive aspect, but not so well its dynamic or active aspect. I don't quite see how it ACTS-I understand the contemplative part, but how does it act?

I don't know. I have no idea.

But do you act or are you simply in ... ?

Yes, I act. But what exactly do you mean? ... Yes, I act!

For example, when you are inside, in an inner state....

But I act much better than when - I appear to be inside, but that's not so. Everybody makes the same mistake.

Yes, but I fully understand.

When I am concentrated in that way, it's not that I am inside, I am in another kind of consciousness.

And it's vast, vast, vast, vast - vast.

Yes, but it's the active side of that consciousness that I don't....

But it doesn't have any side! It's a consciousness (gesture of pressure from above) .... It has no side, it isn't passive or active - it's a consciousness ... (same gesture of pressure) a consciousness pressing on the world.

(silence)

You see, you're trying to translate it mentally, which is impossible - impossible. You have to enter that consciousness ... then only will you know what it is. There's no active or passive, no inside or outside - all that is replaced by something else ... which I can't describe.... There are no words for it.

But for instance, personally, whenever I try to go there, into that consciousness, my main impression is of nonexistence.

Ah, no!

Individual nonexistence, I mean.

No....[385]

It's wide, it's vast, but there's no more person, no more individual.

No. That's not it.... For me, all that is the past ... (silence).

Yes, I quite understand what you mean....

(Mother plunges in)[386]

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